Last night my plane back to Chicago was delayed by about an hour. I was tired – it had been a long, though rewarding, 24 hours. I had just texted Scott to exclaim, “I love my job!” It really had been another one of those whiz-bang career moments where you become a little dumbstruck by your luck.
We made it onto the plane. I had some water. Pretended to be remotely interested in Valentine’s Day. And then it happened: the kids all got restless.
I was coming back from Florida, and it shouldn’t have surprised me that I’d be riding back with a bunch of kids. To be fair, the majority of the kids were fine, but the delay was clearly catching up with them. And it was with me, too. Then the little kid in front of me starting wailing. It was painful, guttural and ear-splitting. The entire cabin was turning around, watching as his parents (well, his dad) did very little. The stewardess tried to help, but nothing would calm him down. This went on – the screaming, the kicking, the punching – for more than an hour, all the way until we got off of the plane and I ran from them as quickly I as I could.
I am not an asshole – there are myriad reasonable, rationale explanations for why this kid was inconsolable. I wasn’t (totally) judging the parents for not being able to calm him down, though, man did I feel for that mom who didn’t seem to be getting an ounce of support from her partner. And there is also the possibility there was something about him (I hesitate to say “wrong” but that’s all I’m coming up with right now) that neither he nor his parents could control. But man – I walked off that plane grateful that I don’t have kids.
I started texting Scott, saying I’d changed my mind, and I believed it. It was all that bad.
I am not sure how to reconcile any of this, of course. I also don’t know that I have to – I know the whole bit about how when it’s your kid it’s different. I appreciate that. Just the same, I found a big, fat silver lining to not being able to get pregnant. And the peace and quiet I came to once I got home was glorious.
