Pause

Other than the Instagram posts, I know it’s been quiet around here.

It was a tough go there for a bit.

I feel strange talking about death when it isn’t an immediate family member. Being sad about someone’s passing feels strangely like the sole province of those for whom the loss is unimaginable. Which is not to say that I did not grieve, just that I am able to find pockets of joy, pockets of hope – pockets of anything¬†– that typically are tough to come by when someone you love ¬†leaves you. It is a luxury to feel when you watch others desperate to do so again but unwilling for the moment to try.

But then I remember that, no, that’s not how feelings work. You feel what you feel what you feel.

Just a week ago we got home from the memorial service, and at this moment, we’re all on Skype together, watching the Bears game, because modern technology has made it so we can all support each other in the most impersonal personal ways.

Amen, Internet.

I’m trying to figure out my groove here again – there are so many things I want to write about and haven’t. My daughter is a hoot, and I need to tell you about the new words she learns, how she’s figured out how to use the iPad, how she’s got me wrapped around her finger. I’d like to tell you about my new role at work, and how happy it’s already making me. About how I officially registered for the New Orleans Half Marathon, booked a hotel, even, and how Scott and Abigail are going with. I’d like to write more about the books I’ve been reading, the shows I’ve loved (Nashville!) and how if I don’t see Lincoln soon I’ll weep.

But every time I try to write I just flub.

I need to get it together, though, because there are things to say and a life to lead. The world spins madly on, as you all know.

I swear I’ll be back, and I’ll stick to my earlier promise of writing more, and about more things, but for now I’m just going to keep sleeping and running and reading and snuggling with my girl. Soon, friends, soon.