So there you have it…

…most of you are old LTB readers!

Well, not all, but from the emails and comments, it’s pretty clear you’re all fitness/health folks. I won’t lie: this brings me great relief.

As much as I keep this blog for me, it’s nice to have a few readers and people to get ideas from once in a while. So to know I could probably take this blog into a different direction and not lose most of you is wonderful. And really? I want to take this into a whole new direction.

I’ll probably always talk about the personal stuff – it’s just the sort of blogger I am – but really? I’m passionate about this whole new chapter in my life in a way that has nothing to do with the sort of random updates I post here. The postpartum depression changed me. Having my daughter changed me. Losing my health changed me. I have a fellow mom here in Chicago, Shylo, who, like many other moms online (Joanne, Coleen, Johanna, Ana, to name just a few) reached out to me when things were incredibly dark and helped me to hang on and not lose hope. I had many folks in my “real life,” too, but there was something about getting messages from Shylo and these other Internet ladies that made it possible for me to believe.

When I thanked Shylo for all she did, she said there was no thanks necessary, but that I simply needed to “Pay it forward.”

And so that’s what I want to do. In my life, as of late, I’ve made it my mission to be a sounding-board mom and resource-when-asked for new moms I know. I try not to push, but just to say that they can text, call, email, at any hour, and that I would be here to listen. I know what it means now to get permission from another mother to do something as simple as let my daughter cry for 10 minutes while I take a hot shower or as complicated and controversial as to stop breastfeeding. This endeavor takes support, compassion and love from other women, and I want to make my blog a part of that effort.

This isn’t to say that I just want to talk about motherhood and postpartum – I don’t – but I do want to focus on the things it takes to be a whole, present woman. No matter what shape that takes for you, or me, at any given time, it’s become my personal mission to be a healthy, whole, present woman for my daughter. For myself. I think being healthy and present is what my kid needs, more than almost anything else.

I don’t want to preach – I don’t really care one iota if what it takes for you to be present is daily chanting and for another it’s three glasses of wine after the kids are in bed. That’s your business. I’d just like to share what’s working for me, and open up the discussion for new ideas and encouragement. Along those lines, I’d like to not have debates about sleeping, eating, parenting, etc. Again, it’s none of my business if you’re an attachment parent or a CIO advocate. I will probably share what we’re doing and have done, but I’ll make every effort to talk about those things as matter-of-factly as I can.

There will be a heavy emphasis on health and fitness. I’ve mentioned before that I feel healthier now than I have in years, and I owe much of that to the past three months that have been spent eating healthier, working out, taking time for myself and cutting way back on the booze. I’d like to talk about workouts I’m doing, recipes I’m enjoying and the things I like to do to unwind and de-stress, all in the hopes you’ll share those things here, too.

I’ll talk about my kid, and my husband, but probably not to the extent I have before, though I’m going to continue the monthly letters to Abigail until she turns a year old – I want her to have those, and yes I could still do them and not post them here but, whatever, it’s what I’m doing.

I thought about what it is in other Web sites and blogs that attracts me to them, and I realized my own Web site really didn’t mirror any of those traits, owing to, I think, my own fears about naysayers and critics. Well, screw them. I like to read about products that are working for other people, and I like to see/read about what people are eating and reading. I get a lot of inspiration from that sort of sharing, so I’m going to do that here, too.

I reached out to a local Web designer to redesign and retemplate the site; I hope I hear from her this week. I’ll keep writing here as usual, obviously, but I’m excited about launching something new and fresh, something that incorporates all of these things – motherhood, health, etc. – and filters them through one lens.

Thanks so much for all of your feedback – I appreciate it!