Sums it up

“And I always felt that if something happened to Steve or Pammy, if they died, it would be over for me for a long time but that I’d somehow bounce back. In a very real sense, I felt that life could pretty much just hit me with her best shot, and if I lived, great, and if I died, well, then I could be with Dad and Jesus and not have to endure my erratic skin or George Bush any longer.

“But now I am fucked unto the Lord. Now there is something that could happen that I could not survive: I could lose Sam.

“…my heart is so huge with love that I feel like it is about to go off. At the same time I feel he has completely ruined my life, because I just didn’t used to care all that much.” – Anne Lamott, “Operating Instructions”