1) The lack of sleep. I am very grateful for the women I know who have assured me that for as tiring as caring for a newborn baby can be, it’s a joyride compared to what constitutes for sleep during the third trimester. I will stab the next person who snidely tells me to “get sleep now” or that my body is “just preparing itself for mommyhood.” Seriously. Stabby stab stab. I hope you’ll forgive me my attitude problem – I’M EXHAUSTED.
The awful sleep, or lack thereof, was the final straw between me and a new mattress though. For two years we’ve contemplated a Tempur-Pedic and Monday, after about three hours of sleep, I pulled the trigger.
2) Walking. So yesterday I really wanted some Mushroom Tofu Ramen from Noodles by Takashi Yagihashi. A good number of my Chicago friends know this place – it’s in the fancy food court at the Macy’s on State Street, and from my office, it’s a pretty short walk through the pedway. I was half-way through my journey there and I just wanted to sit down. And cry. In the pedway. And if it wasn’t for the insane desire I had for this dish – owing mostly to the fact that if I didn’t start ingesting food that didn’t contain trans fats and sugar I’d lose my marbles – I would have turned right around. I was wiped out by the time I got back to my office and I didn’t leave my chair for two hours. Walking hurts my hips and wrecks havoc on my bladder and is nothing that I enjoy. And it’s meant driving to work every day (again) which I kind of hate because I liked riding the train with Scott and the extra exercise.
3) Storing up vacation days. Oh I am a lucky duck, I know, to even have maternity leave and vacation days and short-term disability, but lo’ this whole year spent storing up vacation days and sick time is taking a toll on my brain. It’s been a year since I’ve had any time off, sans traditional holidays. and while I recognize I’m staring down three months of maternity leave, not having any extended time away from the office is driving me a little batty.
4) Dents in my ankles from my socks. Is there really anything more degrading than noticing that the small amount of elastic in your anklets is causing a grotesque indentation into your skin? I have always been a fan of my legs, and while we’re not nearing cankle territory by any means, my appendages are swelling just enough to remind me that I am running out of positives to accentuate. Clearly I am not the boss of me any longer. Water retention is.
5) Not looking cute. Remember this post? Do you know how much cuter those items looked back in early September? Lots. Now they look like dregs since my wardrobe is pretty limited. Plus? My body has grown quite handsomely since then, which means how it all looked back then is not exactly how it looks now. I find myself staring longingly at other women, in cute jeans, turtlenecks and boots, and sighing.What I wouldn’t give to just feel a little more put together, and I’m quite certain that even buying new maternity clothes at this point is not going to make that happen.
6) The belly being in the way. While riding in the passenger seat of our car the other day, I tried to reach down to grab my purse, which was at my feet, and I couldn’t get at it. I won’t bore you with all of the others I can reach or see or do. You can just go ahead and assume right now that this was not the only time in which this eight-month-sized belly obstructed my way.
Sigh. I’m really cranky and pissy, guys. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I was less tired and irritable and lumbering and armed with a better attitude but at the moment I am not. I am pretty sure that by the time I’m done working tomorrow, I’m going to be spending the next couple of days trying to rest, read and get a few items off of the to-do list crossed off.
And I’m going to try really, really hard not to stab anyone.
