Ultimate Reset: Days 10-11

Last night I decided to try on a dress that I haven’t worn since 2007. It’s a cute dress – a shirt dress that buttons down all the way but gathers a bit at the waist.

This is what they say about clothes and scales and weight and sizes and the like: it varies. For months now, I’ve been back in clothes that haven’t seen daylight in years but there are of course exceptions. My honeymoon tankinis (scandalous not, but items that were clearly better suited to a woman who hadn’t given birth), sparkly tops (see previous parenthetical expression, and add on “Too Damn Old And No Longer Going to Bars Past 10 p.m.) and miniskirts (self explanatory), all things best left to the past where they had a nice run.

But nothing about this dress is particularly trendy or age-inappropriate so I’ve hung on to it. I have a massive clothing purge coming on, I know it, but this dress will remain.

Because, of course, it fits again. Admittedly I hadn’t tried it on since spring, and made a mental note that if it didn’t fit, it wouldn’t see next year.  There are abundant things to which one should hang onto for posterity, but a dress isn’t one of them.

I don’t know if I’ve lost a tremendous amount of weight on this program, though the fact that my jeans were falling off of me yesterday should probably be a decent enough indication that something is happening. I’d venture a guess that I’ve certainly lost inches of bloat, and I can’t emphasize enough just how spectacular that feeling has been. This week includes a “detox” supplement, which basically is just chia seeds and anything else you’d find in a colon-cleanse-type product.  I know for some folks who do this program that, um, that benefit is a huge draw and life-changer but I can take it or leave it. I was already feeling substantially less bloated and heavy in my stomach prior to this week so anything else that comes along is a bonus.

So clothes. Yes. I’m able to wear a dress I love again. The caution (is that even the right word?) is how long this lasts. This is a post for another day, but it’s hard not to make the argument that when you feel and see a substantial difference in your body after doing something like this (of which I’m half-way through) that you shouldn’t find a way to make it a more permanent part of your life. I’ve been giving a lot of thought about it. I was talking to a coworker yesterday about this, and she was downloading me on the details of the Paleo Diet. I just couldn’t see how I could follow something like that unless it really spoke to me and made a difference in my life. So I suppose the same can be said here.

Would I miss dairy? Yes. Yes I would. Do I feel better not having it? Yes. Yes I do.

Would I miss a more meat-centric diet? No, but the convenience factor (Though I know there are easy veggie-friendly options, I know how to make a whole mess of quick-and-easy meat-based meals) will be a tough adjustment.

Would I miss snacks? Yes. But dear God get over it.

I’ve still not felt the boosts of energy some people get, but I really do feel better. I know the supplemental reading I’ve been doing has helped in this regard, but it’s nice to have life not be so food-centric. It is mentally taxing to think about eating or not eating all of the time, and though I’m missing being able to eat certain things at the moment, I’m primarily just missing having the option to throw some ground turkey, brown rice, tomatoes, peas and black beans in a pot and call it supper after a long day at work.

I trust myself to eat, after all, but Lord it’s nice to have gotten myself to a point where I’m not tossing food into my gaping maw.

Next week promises to be tougher – no grains – but it’s just seven days. Mostly I hope it means I’ll sleep more than seven hours because I am really trying to sleep longer but it is not happening GAH.