Oh this poor neglected blog. The intentions I had for it have just not seen the light of day. I need to figure out how to carve out time for all of the stuff I want to do. Otherwise, oy.
For now, the random updates:
1) The boot is off. This has been the biggest and best development as of late. Wearing matching shoes is awesome. I had my first physical therapy appointment last week and she declared me to be stronger than we first believed, which means I won’t be in PT for as long as predicted, or as often. I’ve gotten the OK to do low-impact work outs, which has meant the stationary bike and the elliptical, both things I find boring but I’m not complaining. Getting back into a routine has been another matter.
This morning I overslept, and oversleeping isn’t an option. I have to be up and out of bed when the alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m., no questions. This means I need to be asleep by 9:30 p.m. to function, not in bed by 9:30 p.m., which is what I normally do. I do not know how to get around this reality. I must have at a minimum seven hours of sleep a night. I refuse to pretend otherwise.
Anyway, so I can go to yoga, and return to my old commuting routine – I walk to the train to take me downtown, and then walk to my office – and I can get excited about the end. By the end of this month, I should be back to running, which brings me no small amount of joy.
To say nothing of the Derby Lite and boxing classes I’ve signed up for.
I envy people who seem to be able to lose weight without exercise. I am not one of those people. I enjoy eating too much, and I still have a tendency to overeat at times. The combination there has translated into the scale not budging one iota. After seeing the scale drop and drop and drop, and get in better and better shape, the abrupt halt (and, during the holidays, GAIN on the scale), has sucked. I won’t even mince words about it, talk about loving my body, whatever. I’m doing my best to temper my excitement of being able to work out again, but it’s hard. I’m so over these twenty pounds.
Which brings me to Weight Watchers. So before the new calendar yet hit, they changed up the Points system again. I lost three points each day. This isn’t a lot, I suppose, but when you tally it up for the week? It was like losing AN ENTIRE DAY’S WORTH OF FOOD. Just like that. And don’t talk to me about the extra points. I always used up my extra points, or most of them, and to now just eat 29-Points worth of food each day, as was my previous allotment before the switch, I lose more than half of them. And without the activity points to gain, I invariably end up in the red.
The whole thing is maddening, and I’ve made the decision to say “eff it” to the new system and just do what I was doing before, pleading with my inner OCD to ignore the deficit on my online tracker and trudge on through. I want to not care about losing this weight, but I do. At the very point my life started to calm down, I finally got pregnant and never had the chance to lose what I’d gained. With the exception of my time spent pregnant, it’s all seemed very unfinished and unfair. Which is ridiculous and stupid – no one was forcing me to stress eat – but there it is. All I know is that I’m still about 20 pounds too uncomfortable for the sort of training I like to do, not to mention the jeans I like to wear.
My all-time favorite Seven jeans have not seen the light of day in almost three years. At this point I’m on the road to becoming one of those people whose skinny jeans were last fashionable a decade ago and by the time she puts them on? Oh the horrors.
2) Abigail turns one. I cannot get over that I’m the mother of an almost-one-year-old. There are so many things I love about AG, but mostly I just find myself filled with an indescribable joy whenever I’m around her. There’s too much happiness to contain in her presence, and I can’t believe I’ve got such a great person in my life. I’m a little over her need to feed Glinny food from her highchair, but they’re such good buddies, and Glin puts up with so much, that I can let it slide.
We’re not having a fancy party. Just family. I’m making chili, ordering a cake, putting up some balloons. If it were summer, and we could use the backyard, I’d make it a blowout with all of our friends – an excuse just to have a party – but it’s winter and we’re short on space and I’m not renting a hall.
OK. That’s it for the time being. If I don’t just hit publish, it’ll be another three days before this sees the light of day.
