A quick note to everyone who has emailed and left comments about my post:
THANK YOU.
Admittedly it’s still a bit nerve-wracking to bare that much, even after all of these years, but I maintain that it’s important to do. The bonus is the support and kindness I receive from you guys, and it means the world.
I got to meet Geneen Roth this week – she did a reading here in Chicago – and it was lovely. The thing that was striking about the reading was the conversation afterward, and the introduction of support for a “program” like hers. I put that in quotations as, aside from her retreats, I don’t know that there is anything traditionally program-y about what she’s talking about. Nonetheless, these life changes work best when you feel less alone – hence the success of Weight Watchers, I think.
Instead of getting support in the form of some idea of willpower and self-control, this idea centers around the idea of support for not dieting. It’s a revolutionary concept for women, especially for those of us who were conditioned to believe that there is something righteous and character-affirming about the torture that comes with being on a diet. Quite subconsciously, women who are seen as active dieters are treated with much more respect than those who don’t.
Unless you’re thin and don’t diet. Because then we just hate you.
Oy. We women are so awful to each other.
Here’s the deal: I support you in your efforts not to diet. I support you in your efforts to be nice to yourself, and not say those awful, self-doubting phrases that sap you of your creative energy and keep you from doing things that are way more fun, like having sex, going out with your friends or solving world hunger. Because I don’t think it’s too far off that if women stopped fucking around with worrying about the size of our thighs that we could have taken care of a whole mess of problems by now.
I support you in your efforts to learn how to trust yourself, to like yourself, to live a life that doesn’t include beating yourself up about food. It’s just a fucking cookie, after all.
After this week of actively beginning to apply some of these ideas to my life, I can tell you I have a few learnings:
- My body really just doesn’t like bread. It just doesn’t.
- I didn’t work out once – save for the three miles I walk every day for my commute, which I suppose really does count – and I got a lot of sleep and it was great.
- I wasn’t able to step away from my desk to eat lunch without the computer and clearly it’s a crutch. Next week, we’re going to try eating downstairs in the cafeteria.
- The idea of not counting my calories scares the shit out of me. I did it all week and I’m not really ready to break that habit for the moment.
Anyway, that’s it for this week. More next. Thanks again everyone. I really appreciate it.
