ejshea.com – Erin Shea

Last night my plane back to Chicago was delayed by about an hour. I was tired – it had been a long, though rewarding, 24 hours. I had just texted Scott to exclaim, “I love my job!” It really had been another one of those whiz-bang career moments where you become a little dumbstruck by your luck.

We made it onto the plane. I had some water. Pretended to be remotely interested in Valentine’s Day. And then it happened: the kids all got restless.

I was coming back from Florida, and it shouldn’t have surprised me that I’d be riding back with a bunch of kids. To be fair, the majority of the kids were fine, but the delay was clearly catching up with them.  And it was with me, too. Then the little kid in front of me starting wailing. It was painful, guttural and ear-splitting. The entire cabin was turning around, watching as his parents (well, his dad) did very little. The stewardess tried to help, but nothing would calm him down. This went on – the screaming, the kicking, the punching – for more than an hour, all the way until we got off of the plane and I ran from them as quickly I as I could.

I am not an asshole – there are myriad reasonable, rationale explanations for why this kid was inconsolable.  I wasn’t (totally) judging the parents for not being able to calm him down, though, man did I feel for that mom who didn’t seem to be getting an ounce of support from her partner. And there is also the possibility there was something about him (I hesitate to say “wrong” but that’s all I’m coming up with right now) that neither he nor his parents could control. But man – I walked off that plane grateful that I don’t have kids.

I started texting Scott, saying I’d changed my mind, and I believed it. It was all that bad.

I am not sure how to reconcile any of this, of course. I also don’t know that I have to – I know the whole bit about how when it’s your kid it’s different. I appreciate that. Just the same, I found a big, fat silver lining to not being able to get pregnant.  And the peace and quiet I came to once I got home was glorious.

Some bonus elements to being with a fertility specialist? Same day results!

So this latest round revealed that…I ovulated. My progesterone levels, while not at the desired 10, was at a 8.38. Even better? My thyroid is at a 1.27, which is the lowest it’s ever been. These are all good signs, of course, and I don’t know what to point to, though this all does lend credence to the doctor’s theory that my half-marathon training was wrecking havoc on my system. As for the low thyroid? I’m just happy with the results.

I still have some more blood work to do, and an ultrasound, and then we’ll see.

I wish I had other things to share. The past couple of weeks have been hectic, and the next two promise to be so as well. With the exception of this week, when I came down with a summer cold, I’ve been at boot camp every day. All of sudden this week, however, something shifted in my body and clothes began to fit loosely once more. It’s a workout that has made a world of difference in just about every way, and I can tell you that I feel a little less balanced this week not having worked out since last Saturday.

Sunday I head out of town for work for the night, and right now I should be doing some more work but I just need to give my brain a slight rest for the moment. In between work I’m going to be pool-side for most of the weekend – in River North tomorrow and Florida come Sunday. Week after next I head to Park City, Utah where I’m speaking on a panel at the Evolution of Women in Social Media conference. I’m thrilled to be doing this, and I’m lucky to be among such talented women and men on the dais. I’ve got old friends and new who will be there, plus, you know, Park City, Utah.

More next week…