1) The Sleepy Wrap. I love this hippie contraption. Our kid prefers to be held. It’s that simple. I’ve spent the past three weeks trying to make the situation be anything but what it is and all of the cliches are true, yes, yes. Kids will do things their way. Sometimes we have some luck, which has meant an hour or two of Abigail napping in the pack and play, but for the most part, ours is a kid who wants to be held at all times. I’ve read everything I can get my hands on, and consulted numerous people, but in the end, at this age, she is who she is and it’s more exhausting to try and get her to sleep in a cosleeper than it is on my chest right now. Plus? I get what I want, which is use of my hands and arms to do things like write blog posts.
Which I’m doing now because my kid is in the wrap.
Sometimes she likes it, other times she like it to burn in hell. When she likes it, though? I get a couple of hours I didn’t have before and lo’ it is glorious. Once she’s older we’ll work on her schedule and having her sleep in her crib. For now? Sleepy Wrap.
2) These pants from Target. Sadly it seems they’re out of stock right now, but if they should return? GO GET YOU SOME. They’re comfortable and flattering and perfect transitional pants. Like I said, I managed to not hold on to much of the baby weight I gained, but dear Jesus do I have some insane belly flab action right now. I can lose the last ten pounds and I know I’m still going to be giving my midsection a bit of the stink eye. Pants that don’t accentuate that area can only be good for my self-esteem.
3) The 5 Ss. OK. So like anything child-rearing related, this also has its detractors. However, for us, we embrace Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby On The Block soothing technique. For our kid, it works like a charm, and in the almost three weeks we’ve been parents, I can say that anything that helps our kid sleep and allows our family to function as it needs to, is A-OK in our book. Plus, it gives us the structure and discipline we need to help her, and not just fumble around aimlessly as her cries go unheeded. As we get to know her better, we know how to better answer her needs. When she’s tired and fighting sleep – and oh how she loves to fight sleep - she gets the 5 Ss and everything calms down.
4) Exercise/balance ball. Our kid can’t tell the difference between whether we’re walking around to soothe her or whether we’re bouncing up and down, swaying back and forth, on this thing. With my c-section, it’s been a life-saver since I have to still be careful about how much walking I do. Sometimes I’m rocking Abigail for a good 30 minutes. Doing so on a balance ball has been key.
5) Scott. I was reading some mom forum the other day and a poster spent the majority of her real estate bitching about her no-help husband and how awful he was. Maybe it’s just me, but if your partner is that bad, wasn’t there some indicator prior to marrying him that you could have heeded? If your partner has always said it was “your job” to take care of the baby, regardless of whether or not you had a job outside of the home, too, what makes you think that once the baby was here his position would change? I can assure you, if my opinion were as such, the realities of having a newborn would only reinforce that stance. This no-sleep-total-dependence-on-me thing is for the birds, Jack. I love this kid, but whoa nelly. So I’m grateful to have Scott, he who does laundry, gets up in the middle of the night to take a shift and just generally loves and dotes on our kid. He takes her from me when he gets home, gives me a couple of hours to relax and thanks me every day for staying home during this time to take care of Abigail.
6) Cloud B Sleep Sheep. We use this in conjunction with the 5Ss – Abigail is partial to the whale sounds – and it helps her drift off to sleep. Of course it means that whale noises are now the constant backdrop of ambient noise in our house, but it’s a small price to pay to help our kid get some sleep. Plus, the white noises need to be close to the baby’s ear, and this is so soft and cuddly we can just cradle it with her as we rock and sway her to sleep.
7) You guys. I am blown away by the hour by all of the love and support you’ve shown me. And I would really recommend to anyone who is coming here looking for camaraderie to be sure to check out the comments sections of my posts as that’s where the real meat to this site is right now. There is nothing that has been more comforting to me than all of your stories and shared experiences – they’ve meant the world to me and help me keep pushing forward.
THANK YOU.
The 5 s’s! Yes! We got that DVD at our baby shower and thought, yeah, right. When the kid was about a month old and not sleeping, we watched it in pure desperation…and it was magic. It’s the rare baby item I’d recommend to everyone.
I’m jealous that Abigail likes the sling action, mine did not. At all. I had visions of wrapping him up in a Moby and going on with life…didn’t happen. Luckily for me, I discovered that he *did* like the bouncy seat, and I could once again get stuff done. It’s all just trial and error.
Other than the pants from target (for me it was gauchos since I delivered in the middle of summer) and the name of the man in question, you just listed my essentials of the first three months of Penelope’s life. I had a homemade wrap for sleep-wearing, and a ring sling for awake wearing and I just spent July and August of 2009 with a baby-sized sweat print on the front of my shirt. Glamorous? No, but totally effective.
We did eventually graduate from the sleep sheep to a white noise on the ipod docked into speakers- totally still use that. It’s nice to have, because it makes a sleep trigger for when we travel, too. She know its her bed when she hears the beach sounds
Anyway, sounds like you are doing great! Abigail Grace is beautiful. Many many congratulations.
I’m so glad you are finding time to post about your post-partum life, Erin! I was following your pregnancy with great interest and enjoyed reading about your experiences. I’m due at the end of June with our first child, and our ups-and-downs have paralleled my own in some ways. I know you don’t necessarily write with the goal of helping others through their own junk, but I just have to tell you how wonderful it has been to watch you and your family navigate these last few months. It makes me panic a little less and feel like I’ll be able to handle whatever comes our way. Thanks for sharing, I’m sure I’m not the only one to whom it means a lot!
Oh man the 5 S’s. That book saved us! Now that our little guy is a toddler we bought the Happiest Toddler DVD’s and they are great too. Tools to stop a tantrum dead in it’s tracks. That man is a genius! Sounds like you guys are doing great!
Hurrah for hands-on husbands and Harvey Karp! I really wanted to use a babywearing sling with one, if not both of my twinners. Every attempt with the moby wrap ended with the three of us in tears. Btw, when we were dealing with a colicky babe, Karp’s explanation of the “fourth trimester” made that easier to understand why our little guy seemed so unhappy. Fun to read about how you three are making it work. It’s a wonderful, frustrating, crazy time. (only after it’s passed can I say wonderful)
Love the 5 S’s. Really wish I had discovered them with my first daughter. She developed poor sleep habits. Not sure if it because we didn’t teach her right to begin with, but she would not go to sleep on her own until she was about 3 years old. That’s a long time. We discovered Dr. Karp with our second daughter (4.5 year age difference…love it) and she has the best sleep habits now. It’s like she craves her bed…doesn’t want to be rocked to sleep, just a lullaby, bedtime story, and lights out.
Congratulations on your little one. She is beautifully precious. I have a picture similar to the one you posted the other day of me and my newborn daughter sleeping in the same position and it’s one of my favorites pictures. Adorable.
The Sleepy Wrap! It’s genius! And don’t worry about her needing to be held all the time. You can’t spoil a newborn and who wouldn’t want to cuddle with Mama and Papa having just met them in person? She will gradually grow out of the need to be held all the time. My niece wouldn’t sleep anywhere other than on a warm chest until she hit six weeks but is five months now and loves her crib and her bedtime routine (bath, nursing, watching her mobile and cooing herself to sleep).
I’m still so amazed at how quickly they grow and change. Enjoy it all.
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wish the 5Ss had been around when my 12yo daughter was born. Oh… how it would have helped us sooner.
And i love, love, love the Sleepy Wrap for the same reason. But… my son is 30 and he and his wife are beginning their ‘baby dance’. (I never ask how it’s going btw… to much pressure for them) I may get one for Danielle and Greg and one for ME to keep at my house. For when i babysit, ya know??? ;o)
I wish I could come up there and hold your baby and make us margaritas.
Home from my C and typing 1 handed. I have to get that wrap@! I did not understand the level of sore. I’m also still numb. I’m only 4 days out though.
Harvey Karp = GENIUS. The 5 Ss are baby voodoo!
I’m so glad you have found something that works for you re: getting your hands free for an hour or two every now and then. Jack hated all manner of wraps, but putting him in his swing allowed me to do luxurious things like eat meals and brush my teeth.
You are doing so wonderfully (as is your husband!), and it’s such a joy to read about these early weeks with your little girl. A voice like yours is definitely needed in the world of new mothers.