Probably the most significant difference that first hit me this week as we had our first appointment with the midwives group was how nice the woman at the front desk was when we walked in.
Don’t ever accuse me of shooting for the moon, people.
Seriously, she was so kind and welcoming. Even in my rushed state to locate the bathroom. My entire life now is defined solely by how long I’ll be away from a bathroom. I allow myself any experience at this point as long as it includes a toilet. This means that if you’re more than 40 minutes away from me, I’ll see you in the spring. I now understand what those handles above the door in the car are made for – so pregnant women can lessen the impact of any literal bump in the road. I know it’s only a matter of time, I do, before any remaining dignity I have finds itself on the floor of our brand-new car.
Anyway, we love the midwives. Funny enough, the very source of my OB-GYN’s “Dead Baby” comment – the Group B Strep possibility – was brought up and, amazingly enough, our midwife educated us about what it was and how the test is done and what we’ll do if I happen to test positive for it. Even more shocking? She even suggested some natural methods to put in place now that studies have shown to help reduce the incidence of Group B Strep in a woman’s body.
Ladies, if you’ll give me a moment: Never fear asking for what you want. Never settle for anyone treating you like shit and then demanding payment for the treatment. It’s hard for me now not to see how the patterns of my life – never questioning an authority figure, always being so desperate to please – may have very well sent me down a path that would have only served to sadden me. I might need intervention when our daughter is ready to arrive, but at least that intervention will be done by people who respect me and my choices.
So it was a wonderful, fantastic improvement. Sadly, I’ll be scurrying, and their practice is in the suburbs, and I’ll be working hard to try and fit in everything with the group since I’m coming in to their practice at such a late date. But I could not feel more grateful for their kindness in bringing me in and not making me feel awful about it.
Our girl is healthy and doing well. She spends most of her time, presumably, shaking her ass. Much like her father, who is known far and wide for his ass-shaking abilities. Seriously, the midwife helped us map where she’s at – she’s head down, butt up – and the majority of the movement I feel during the day is the baby moving her tush around. We heard her heartbeat – Scott recorded it on his iPad – and had all of our questions answered and, oh, there was talk of labor tubs, birthing balls, being on the same page philosophically about birth, how awesome my doula is and all of the basics that a woman who embraces choice longs to hear.
I will tell you: medicine the way it’s practiced at Northwestern Hospital is going to turn Scott and I into a couple of damn hippies. We took an infant CPR class there this week and the first thing we were shown were three newspaper articles, all of which were outdated and anecdotal in nature, and all of which were presented with the words “Your Baby” “Death” “Dying” “DANGER!” CPR is nothing to giggle about, but when a soon-to-be-Dad asked for clarification on the pressure by which he should apply to the “choking” dummy, the instructor’s reply was “With the same force we used back in the old days when we all spanked our kids.” And she wasn’t joking. People nervously giggled. What do you say after that? After a while, the ridiculousness of the situation was eclipsed with my general irritation that people like this woman are why we are a culture who turns its nose down at alternatives of any sort.
For instance, she explained to us how they’d “smack [our baby] when [it's] born to get [it] to cry,” a practice that has no bearing in scientific fact and shouldn’t even be done anymore since most practitioners know it has the potential to do more harm than good. But here this woman stood up in front of a group of people telling them that doctors have to smack seconds-old human beings so they’ll cry, never mind that there are plenty of healthy, whole babies who are born sans screaming and crying. And because she’s doing so at the fancy hospital in downtown Chicago somehow we take it as gospel.
We walked out after it was done, glad that we know infant CPR and glad that we switched hospitals and care providers.
—
Sleep is still relatively elusive, and the Tempur-Pedic we ordered weeks ago has yet to arrive. The good news is that our stroller/car seat is here – we got the Orbit G2 Travel System, thanks to the collective generosity of some family members and some savings – the crib is in but the dresser is still waiting to make its appearance and we’re not picking up one without the other. I found a glider I really like, but I’m not paying $400 for the damn thing, not when I’ve been told it’s possible to get at least 40% off. I’ve ordered the rug, the paper lanterns (in all of the colors shown) and the wall decal. I need to find a storage table I like – this one seems to work – and then we’ve got a set of comic book covers, featuring our favorite heroines, to frame and hang. Our friends are generously letting us borrow their co-sleeper, and my shower is in two weeks so I imagine everything else we’ll need we’ll get then or after.
We’re drawing up a will, and buying more life insurance. This week I’m organizing all of our financial and insurance information for Scott since the last thing I want for my family is for something to happen to me (one) and then have no one know where anything is at and how to access a lick of it (two). I’ve used my Target gift certificate from Christmas to stock up on yoga pants and hoodies to wear after the baby gets here, and I’ve organized closets and shelves and the kitchen pantry. Scott is cleaning the basement, putting together an emergency kit for the house (basically getting me a better flashlight) and deciding whether to get a DVR or just a regular cable box since we’re moving the TV to the lounge upstairs off the baby’s room.
And on the advice of many, next week I pack our bag for the hospital.Viva la nesting! I love it!
I’m sort of in a push to get this stuff done before the month’s out as I plan to spend all of February that doesn’t include a real live baby crying, pooping and sleeping under our roof with my feet up, complaining and sleeping as much as possible. I am bound and determined not to be running around like a chicken with its head cut off in the final weeks of this pregnancy, so anything that doesn’t get done will just have to wait.
Honestly, I will be far too gargantuan and unwieldy to do anything other than bitch about how gargantuan and unwieldy I am anyway.
Congrats on the midwives!! So great that you found a supportive environment. Wow that Hospital sounds crazy. I never heard of anyone getting “spanked alive” nowadays. Max didn’t breathe well at first and there was no smacking, just some gentle prodding and reassuring me that everything was fine. Sounds like you made a great choice. My only unsolicited advice? Get the glider, spend the money. No matter how ugly and expensive they are, totally worth it. You can literally doze off while feeding and feel very comfortable. They are so squishy!
I would recommend a DVR. There isn’t a lot of original programming on late at night/early in the morning.
I had a GREAT experience at Advocate Hospital in Lakeview with both births of my sons. The OB Faculty Practice is progressive. They have alternative birthing rooms where you have access to a tub and have no medical “interventions” unless an emergency happens.
I choose to give birth in a hospital room (so i would have the option of an epidural). I labored in the shower, on a birthing ball, with the lights low, in a rocking chair, with music blaring. They let me labor where I wanted. I had a hep lock so i was not tethered to an IV and I had intermittent monitoring (so i was not hooked to the fetal monitor). They were very supportive of my desire not to have an epidural and even tried to help me avoid pitocin by giving me a breast pump to try to stimulate labor after my water had broken. They let me walk for 7 hours.
They let you have a “clear” diet while you labor (meaning they bring you juice and jello and broth and popsicles). With my second birth, I was slow to progress, which at the fancy hospital usually earns you a c-sec, but it was NEVER mentioned. The doctor and nurses were very supportive and though i gave birth close to 24 hours after my water broke (GASP) no one worried at all since my temp never rose.
They NEVER EVER take the baby to the “nursery”. The baby room slept in my room with my husband and i. There was amazing breastfeeding support. The baby was placed right on my chest and the second one actually nursed right after birth! Only after I was ready did they take them to be cleaned and weighed and such.
I just write this to say that there are better options in the city also. and that i also don’t see why people flock to the fancy hospital. must be the view.
I should add Advocate Hospital=Illinois Masonic
LOVE the comic book idea!!!!!!!! Seriously. I hope you post pics when its all done.
We looked at that same glider today. We’re debating between a few. Unfortunately the ones that are comfy for me are not so much for my husband and vice versa. We’re trying to find something that works for both of us. I’m a foot shorter than he is so finding the perfect works for both of us glider has been a challenge.
I remember being 10+ months pregnant and going to the Museum of Science and Industry, where my favorite exhibit was the bathrooms. I was seriously in there every 45 minutes.
The new birthing center you’ve chosen sounds fantastic! I can’t recall if you’ve shared the name or not. Kid #2 is a ways away – if ever – but I’ve already told my husband that if we have to do it where we had #1, then it’s not going to happen. All of my insisting on what I wanted was simply ignored, and I found it an unpleasant and dehumanizing experience. Despite what some haters say, it IS important to pursue the birth you want!
And I got my glider off Craigslist for $35
Hooray for better services and respect!!! I’m glad that takes that stress from you.
On the DVR? GET THE DVR. You will be up at bizarre hours and you will love the fact that you can store up a few things to watch at those bizarre hours. It will be worth it.
And when the kiddo gets a little older and hopefully if she has night terrors? A little of her favorite show goes a long way to transitioning back to awake.
DVR for the win!
Nobody has spanked any of my kids on birth…pretty sure that is only in historical movies these days ;D Also, take it from someone who had the horrible bleed out that your old doc was warning about. An IV start is simply not standard here, I know it is in other places, but not here. There was plenty of time in the emergency to get me an IV and get me to where I needed to be. Drs are kind of trained in that stuff.
For me now, that has been and will be standard should we be blessed again, as is constant monitoring and an epidural. But, that is due only to my own personal situation.
Sounds like things turned out well. Can’t wait to meet her!
Also, in the case of a horrible bleed out (I know, I’ve had two, with both of my births), they can give you an IM (intramuscular) injection if there is not an IV port in place – just basically stab you in the thigh with the needle to get the drug (Pitocin, methergine, etc.) into your system.
I forget if I mentioned this to you before, so please forgive me if I have, but check out the Femdophilus probiotic supplement to help eradicate GBS in the vaginal canal. I don’t work for them or anything and they certainly don’t pay me, but they are the only company I know who makes it since apparently you can patent a protbiotic bacteria (unlike, say, a vitamin or mineral), and they did, so no one else can make it…
Based on what you’ve said, I’m pretty sure you’re with the same midwife group at the same hospital I was. They are terrific, and their backup OB is wonderful (if you haven’t met with him yet). Despite my birth being nothing like I planned, it was a positive experience and my daughter came through healthy and happy. The midwives are so supportive and affirming and positive– no matter what happens, no matter what you choose, and that’s EXACTLY what you need.